The Guilty Working Parent
It is a rare parent who never feels any guilt in relation to their
parenting or who doesn’t wonder whether they are doing the right thing
for their children at times. Going to work can allow a healthy break
from thinking about your children and their needs but it also invariably
complicates matters too.
Most commonly guilt creeps in when we
feel we are falling short of our expectations of ourselves and feel
we’re not doing enough or being good enough as a parent.
Fathers - making the most of your time with your children
Fathers have a powerful role to play in their children’s lives as they
often provide very different input than mothers. While the
degree that a father can be involved on a day to day basis varies
greatly depending on the particular family set-up, fathers can make the
most of whatever time they do have with their children and maximise
their impact, by considering a few areas in particular:
Making things work after parental separation
Parenting can be hard at the best of times. It is hard enough when the
job is shared by two cohabiting parents, but when couples separate,
whole new ways of managing, both practically and emotionally, often have
to be found.
No matter how recently or long ago you separated,
there are some golden rules for parents who share custody of their
children that will help smooth the process and keep it as positive as
possible for all concerned.
Lying in children
Lying is prolific in our culture. We all lie every day: white lies to save someone’s dignity or help them feel better are a part of adult life. Despite this, parents understandably tend to get furious or upset when
children don’t tell the truth. Despite our own “minor” lying
behaviours, we don’t want our children to lie to us, or to develop into
adults who lie beyond the “acceptable” norm. Preventatively, there are a
few things we can think about as parents:
Set a good example
Psychologists often talk about the importance of modelling for children
to learn appropriate behaviours, but what do we actually mean by that?
Children identify with people whom they spend time with and feel closest
to such as parents, peers, teachers and other important people in their
lives. They are influenced by and learn from these ‘models’, taking on
the behaviours, attitudes or beliefs that they see. Parents often worry
that another child may be a ‘bad influence’ on their child but it is
also worth examining the influences within the home.